At this stage you need all the love and support you can get. You also need to get family members on side. What are your thoughts on this and how can it be done better?

The late stage of dementia can be hard, I would recommend checking out the Seeds of Hope under the education portion of the site for some videos on the topic.  

There is no way to do this without help. There is a point when caregivers recognize the enormity of the job. Here in Quebec we have an in tact system of support, with more care being given as needed. The dream is to allow our loved ones to  stay at home until the end, and I doubt this can be done if our loved ones live through all the stages.

We are fortunate in Alberta. We have an 811 help line and we can ask for Dementia Nurses.  It has been a great help.

Excellent point! i forgot about 811 and how badly it is needed by a destitute caregiver!!!!

People have told my husband he does not have dementia so he figures he does not have it even thou doctor 

has told him he does . So he figures he does not want any one coming in to help at present i have receipt .

hulsemann1966 wrote: 

People have told my husband he does not have dementia so he figures he does not have it even thou doctor 

has told him he does . So he figures he does not want any one coming in to help at present i have receipt .

This is extremely common. In my opinion this is where the health care lets us down. A doctor has 15 minutes to do an assessment. The problem is a Loved One with Alzheimer's can be completely lucid for about 20 minutes. They fool not only the doctor but your friends and family as well. If you really want to show someone what is happening, ask them to look after your Loved One while you go to the store for 15 minutes. Take your time and arrive home in 45 minutes and your replacement caregiver will be beside themself. Your Loved One will have been OK for the first 20 minutes. Then they will start repeating themselves or creating other issues. This works every time!

In your husband's case, he is not the judge of his health. His doctor is so it must be progressing. Turn the tables on your husband when you are getting the assessment done and tell him it is for you to make sure you can remain at home. When they start the part after interviewing both of you to assess him, go and stand behind him with your hands on his shoulders. DO NOT SPEAK. Just shake your head yes or no if he gives an answer. If he asks for your assistance just say not sure.

You are the cornerstone to your family. If you go down with health issues the whole house of cards collapses. Don't hestate to call 811 and ask for a Dementia Nurse if you need answrs 24 hours a day. JOIN A SPOUSAL SUPPORT GROUP THROUGH YOUR LOCAL ALZHEIMER"S OFFICE. In my opinion this is critical for your personal well being.
Please keep reading these forumns and posting updates on your situation.

Dean in Cental Alberta

IsabelleRita wrote: 

We are fortunate in Alberta. We have an 811 help line and we can ask for Dementia Nurses.  It has been a great help.

IsabelleRita

I just happened to be looking through some of the posts and came accross yours.  I was not aware of the 811 help line or how it could be used to help in some situations.  Thanks for this - To me this is another way the posts can really help.

Ken