People are telling me that I need a break but I don't know how to ask for it, has anyone done any type of respite before?

Respite was how I survived so what you are being told is correct. You DO need a break. I personally used to leave town for a week each 3 months. If anything happened to me or in your case, you, the house of cards comes falling down. My suggestion is to get totally away from your loved one and you will both benefit. Your natural instinct is to feel guilty for going away but once you experience it, you will see how important it is.

The starting point would be having a family member come and live with your loved one if they are at home. It will also point out to the family truly what the situation is with your loved one.

If you don't have a family member to come into your home I would get in touch with Home Care at AHS and ask for help. One possibility is that they will do it in your home. However, this may not be practical and your loved one may need to be placed into a facility for the short term you are away. My wife was in Aspen Ridge here in Calgary and I know they have rooms set aside exactly for this reason. You could also see if a facility in Sylvan Lake has such arrangements. There is a charge but I believe AHS will aid in the costs.

You should also get in touch with the Alzheimer's Office here in Red Deer and they will give you valuable advice as well.

One thing you should do if you are not already is look at placing your loved one in the Adult Day Support Pogram here in Red Deer. Your loved one will be there up to three days a week (depending on space availability) from about 9 to 3 with them providing not only activities but lunch as well. This will give you some time for yourself and is a fabulous programme. If necessary, tell your loved one it is new programme and they need people to not only attend it but to help the other members as well. Tell them it is important for the other people and if she says it will cost gas tell them the government pays it even though they do not. Your sanity is important!

Also, lastly, make sure you attend the Spousal Support Group run by the Alzheimer's Society here in Red Deer on the second Tuesday afternoon of each month. It SAVED my life.

Please keep me updated on your progress through this website.

R. Dean Cowan

Red Deer, AB